Apr 5, 2011

My First Short Story

A short story made by me. I don't really wish to make a perfect one like Doris Lessing's but I hope it'll entertain you. And I would really like to hear your comments, suggestions, or perhaps questions concerning on the idea, the grammar, etc. Thank you for reading :D

A One Night Adventure

by Niken Pranita Putri

Leaving my old house was not really what I wanted. I moved to this small town since my father died and left so many debts to me and my mother. In order to pay off my father’s debts, we inevitably had to sell my old house. Whereas too many sweet memories deserved to be always remembered there. I really loved my father. I loved the way he treated me. He was such a warm person. His advices could make myself calm. But I did not know the reason why he had to owe so much money that we never had imagined before.

Well, my new house was quite old. It was too big to be stayed for both of us only. I wondered why Mrs. White sold this house with an extra cheap price. I questioned it within my heart, maybe this house was sold because there was unspoken secret in it, or it might be because there was a massacre ever happened here, or perhaps it was just only my fantasy, my imagination.

We moved in town because some people said that many opportunities were offered here. But I thought that was a wrong idea. Living in town was not simple as it thought. We had to work very hard to fulfill our needs, to pay my school’s fee, and others unpredictable stuff. Only my mother that kept my spirit alive. I tried to be a baby sitter while she took a job as a worker in a small factory. Sometimes this job ate my school’s activity, but I had to bear in my mind that my mother needed me. And I had to keep more spiritful in order to make her smile.

One night, I went home very late. I was too tired even for brushing my teeth and washing my face. The kid that I looked after was very naughty. She kept nagging and nagging so I could not even take a breath. By the time I laid my body on the bed, I began to sleep like a top. Only in minutes, I got a dream. It was getting deeper and deeper. But I could not see the depiction of my dream. I could only hear voices. It was a sound of a giant waves. For the reason that the roar-like sound of the storm was getting more louder, I felt like it was a real. Then I woke up and realized that the sound did not came from my dream. It came from one of the part of my room!

“Hellooo, is anybody here?” I said.

I checked every single corner of my room, but it was nothing. I could not find where the voices came from. Then I opened the window, checking what might be happened outside. I was quite sure that I was in the middle of confusion at the time.

“Yeah, maybe I’m too tired so I begin to hear something nonsense. What are you thinking about, Jenna? An ocean in your room? That kid has succesfully made you nuts. Oh yeah, maybe I was dreaming.” I said to myself, trying to calm my mind.


On the following night, when I was asleep, I heard those familiar voices again. Giant waves. But this time was more louder. I felt as though the voices asked me to join them. I was so sure that this time was not a dream. Then I rechecked my room again from the part of bookshelves to the place near side my bed.

“Oh God! What is happening here actually?” I said.

I forgot that I had not checked the part under my bed. I went to my bed right away. I came closer to my bed, bowed, and began to crawl. After quite a long time, I realized that I continued crawling without hitting the wall. I could feel that the more I crawled the more I felt this way was like a going-down path. Then my feet felt very cold. I was sinking and then drowning in the sea. I was panicked and randomly complained to myself.

“I should not follow the voices. Aaaargh!”

I tried to swim as much as possible to the surface. Finally my struggle was not useless. I came to the surface and saw a beautiful island in front of me. I kept swimming to the beach. When I got there, I was amazed by the beauty of the Island. I walked and looked around. I saw many strange things in that island.

“I’ve never seen this plant in my world before. The shape of the leaf is very odd. What is it actually?” I asked to myself.

“I’m Gnomium Plant”, said the plant.

Suddenly I jumped because I was shocked. I saw a talking plant. Oh my God!

“Can you really talk dear Go-no-mmuim Plant?”

“I’m Gnomium Plant. Not Gnomuim. Don’t mispelling again, ok?”

“Oo-oo-oh ok I’m so sorry. I wanna ask something to you. What is the name of this island actually. I was in my room. Then I followed the sound of giant waves, after that I was here. I don’t understand what is actually happening here”, I said to the plant.

“Ok lady, this island is the place where miracles happen. Anything in here has a special uniqueness. Maybe you are easily in love with this island, but be more careful. There is something you wish you cannot see. You’d better be careful. But don’t worry, there are lots of things you can enjoy here. There is a wished lake. Everytime you drink the water, one wish will come true. And then there are also milk lake. The milk lake has so many tastes. Strawberry, chocolate, vanilla, mocca, peach, banana, and even papaya. This island is called Paradise Island. And there is a flower which can make a dead person alive if you pray to him”, explained the plant.

“Oh really? There is such a flower to make my dad alive? Tell me, tell me. Where is the flower located? What is the name of it? I really want to meet my father once again and ask why he owed so much mone we couldn’t pay for it.”

“Wow, wow. Easy, lady. The name of this flower is Fate Flower. You can find this flower near the riverside, or maybe upside the waterfall. This flower is very strange and has an attractive colour. Just like chameleon, it changes the colour according to its surrounding. But be more careful, according to the story, the flower is protected by something powerful.”

“I don’t care. Any strength that protects the flower, would not be able to break my will. Thank you for your direction Mr. Gnomium Plant. Good bye!”

“Such a rushed girl you are! Be careful! And good bye too.”


I followed what the Gnomium Plant had said to me. All he was talking about was true. This was unbelieveble. How could this make sense when you see many lakes with many flavours too? There was no such things in our real life, wasn’t it? Then I tasted the milk lake one by one. Hmm I thought the Vanilla one was my favourite.

And right after a successful tasting the milk lakes, I found a pond where the water is very clear as a bell. I bet this was The Gnomium Plant told about. The fulfilling requests pond. Very interesting. I drank one gulp of it and wished for one request. I hoped I had long hair. Then after two minutes, my hair changed longer than it used to be.

“Well, I have to stay focus. I have to find the river so I can follow its way to where the flower grows”, I said to myself.

Not too long after that, I found the river and I followed its path. I kept walking until finally I found the flower that I was looking for in the upside of waterfall. It was awesome to enjoy your eyes with a beautiful scene in here. The gorgeous flowers especially. The most thing I liked from the flower is the fragrance. It was delicate and sweet, seemed like you could eat it.

But when I, in a hurry, plucked the flowers, the most scariest creature came up to me. He was a half dragon and a half snake. His head consisted of three different colours head snake. His body was a dragon. The size of this creature was very big. Sometimes he took out fire from his mouth. I was so scared and speechless. The dragon was looking at me as if I was his delicious lunch. It seemed like he was ready to pounce me. The hiss from his heads made me shudder. One of his head came over to me. I stepped backward very slowly. I didn’t know if there was a rock behind me that made me fall. Because I fell, the flowers were out of my hand. The monster kept scaring at me. I tried to stand but then the two of his heads chased me suddenly. Then I fell into the fall of its river.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh”, I screamed loudly.

Once again, I drowned into the water. But it was a release because the monster didn’t follow me. I closed my eyes and swam carelessly. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in my bed room. I punched my face to convince that this was real or not. Yes, it was real. My body was full of sweat and I breathed in panting. I thanked God for making the island and everything in it was a dream, even I couldn’t get the flower to make my dad alive.

“I still have my mom. Past is past. I’m gonna catch her now and say that I love her so much.”

I ran through the hallway in my house. My mom’s room was located on the far corner of the hallway. I came to her and slept beside her. I hugged her very tight and said I love you to her. She smiled at me and kissed me in the forehead.

“I love you too, sweetheart.”


Anonymous said...

waahhhh... suka sekali dengan cerita misteri dan imajinasi.. meski susah payah bacanya karena keminiman saya dalam berbahasa inggris.. hehe trus bnernya tuh rumah emang berhantu g sih hehe

Anonymous said...

Sister, I am holding a Hijabi Giveaway. I was wondering if you or any other Muslimah who reads this would like to enter! It's really simple all you have to do is send me email all the details are on my blog


jazallah khair Rabia

Niken Pranita Putri said...

@me aishi : hihi thank you for reading. senangnya kalo ada yg mengapresiasi karya hehe.

@Rabia : I just dropped by to your blog. nice blog :)

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